12.14.2008

Bill O'Reilly VS Bill O'Rights




Tis
the season... While visions of sugar plums dance in the heads of some, Dreidels spin, Kwanzaa candles burn, and Festivus festers, Poor old Grinch must battle against the ghost of Christmas past circa 1791.

Oh what havoc doth it wreak and the legal conflagration, against the promise and establishment of a Christian nation. Correcting as it did a flaw in the original with freedom from religion well interspersed, did not spell out the converse until the addition of the First.

To hear O'Reilly tell, the celebration of Christmas is on a highway to hell. Every holiday joy we ever knew, is endangered by the ACLU.

And all because of liberal heart's bleedings, that Merry Christmas be replaced with Season's Greetings. Ignore does he, retailers' bottom line needs, make them reluctant to alienate any potential shoppers' creeds. More likely is it that an Ad man's reason, has more to do with saying 'Happy Holidays' this season.

So before we answer his call for battle to rally, should we not take a moment to review the actual legal tally? Is Christmas really under attack, or is Grinch O'Reilly really just an opportunistic hack?

To be sure no nativities on public squares reside, but every church and many homes display them with pride. And not just Christian icons rule this holiday plethora, for in some windows safely shine menorah. So rather than support and swallow the Grinch's swill, score one for the important Bill.

On this Sunday which serves as a holiday preamble, many worship together thanks to The good Bill's protecting our right to assemble.

In homes where trees sparkle, stars shine, packages wait and lights abound, not because of Bill O'Reilly but thanks to Bill O'Rights do those freedoms remain on solid ground.

No one works to prevent your Christmas from being what you will, but just don't ask it paid for from the public till.

We
all know playing the victim has a certain cache', but Nero's dead many a year so the notion's passe. You go where you want, say what you want, believe what you want and can pray all your days, but that Bill O'Rights says that we cut it both ways.

So before you give in to the Grinch's false impression, know that in homes and hearts where Christmas really should live there is no repression. So go off and celebrate any way you think fine, and begrudge not the fact that I shall choose mine.

Now as we sit warmly by the tree, my daughter at the piano playing holiday tunes , snow swirling outside, so much in the world seems right, So Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Joyous Kwanzaa, Fab Festivus, and Happy Holidays to all, and to all a good night...

But before I can go in peace after trying to make my prose sleeker, I must amend my words in light of the advise of our friend Seeker. As he rightly chastised me for missing the Solstice and Eid al-Adha, to my litany of well wishes I am really quite glad to go ahead and add ya...

16 comments:

mac said...

Wow.

You have written what I feel so well.

I've often thought the same.

Christmas is under attack?
Where?
When ?
By whom ?
NO, it's not Christmas that is objectionable. It's the spending of MY money on public Christmas displays that I find objectionable.

Heck, I used to put up a tree myself (a pagan ritual if ever there was ;-)....but I never sought public funds for my decorating efforts.

mac said...

One more thought, if I may :

I just can't get the image of Bill O'Reilly as a commentator on that stupid tabloid show(inside edition?) he did waaay back out of my head.

Are we really supposed to take him seriously now ?
How can I when I see him airing those silly stories in my minds file cabinet ?

Asylum Seeker said...

You know, if we were going to actually war agains Christmas, I think we should fight it on the radio and television. If I hear one more pathetic Christmas carol or have to watch one more corny Christmas carol I have already seen 17 bloody times before, there will be many a fatality.

Nice poem. But no shout outs to Winter Solstice celebration, or to Eid al-Adha? The bigotry knows no bounds! ;)

Pliny-the-in-Between said...

If I hear one more pathetic Christmas carol or have to watch one more corny Christmas carol I have already seen 17 bloody times before, there will be many a fatality.
----------
One more shout of ZooZoo's petals and I'm going postal myself...;)

As for the missing celebrations my rhyme was pretty tenuous already ;)

Pliny-the-in-Between said...

I just can't get the image of Bill O'Reilly as a commentator on that stupid tabloid show(inside edition?) he did waaay back out of my head.

---------------
He had a lot more hair then.

Asylum Seeker said...

"As for the missing celebrations my rhyme was pretty tenuous already"

No excuses!!

(Like how you reformatted the post with the large first letter for each stanza, btw. What the hell do they call that, anyway?)

And, on the matter of Bill O'Reilly having less hair now: that is only because he is trying to undergo metamorphosis into a lizardman, so that he can finally get the chance to literally spew forth bile.

Pliny-the-in-Between said...

(Like how you reformatted the post with the large first letter for each stanza, btw. What the hell do they call that, anyway?)

-----------------
I think it's called reformattingtolookmorelikeclassicallyformalbullshitopea. Yeah, I think that's it ;)

Asylum Seeker said...

Hmmmm....yep. Sounds about right. I must've just forgotten that particular day in English class!

pboyfloyd said...

I think that the Christians imagine that separation of church and state is entirely one way.

The state, it seems isn't allowed to investigate scams like Peter Popoff's or Benny Hinn's, or allowed to tax the churches business.

On the other hand the government can and does give money to church (or faith-based) initiatives.

I think that Baby-Billo turning the season of 'peace and goodwill to all men' into the season of 'get off our backs you damned atheists' is a wonderful reminder of what Christianity is 'about' to us all.

Isn't it 'about' STAMPING. OUT. NON-CHRISTIANITY.?

Of course it is.

Pliny-the-in-Between said...

Hmmmm....yep. Sounds about right. I must've just forgotten that particular day in English class!
--------------------
I found that in an old book so it must be true.

Harvey said...

If, as a Jewish agnostic, I can say
Merry Christmas or hear it said to me because the speaker sincerely means it (perhaps) and doesn't suspect that I am "one of those", why can't we all just get along?
Can't we understand that this was intended to be a "Christian Nation"? Why should we get in the way of important sales and spending at this holy time of year? It is certainly an imposition for those of us who do not celebrate the birth of the Savior (actually sometime in the spring, I think)to insist that it be celebrated in people's homes or churches (which might be totally appropriate) when it can be pushed into the public domain (like many religious observances and functions) so that everyone can "hear the good news" (which is good for them antway). How small minded of us!! (We must hate God if we behave this way, don't you think?)

Stacy said...

That was GREAT!!

GearHedEd said...

I'm fargin' speechless...
I normally write haikus;
They don't need to rhyme.

Saint Brian the Godless said...

Sho-o-pping Night
Frenetic Night
All is loud
All is bright
Neon and tinsel are plastered about
The mall's so damn busy and I'm drunk as a trout
Buy stuff until you pass ou-u-t...
Buy stuff until you pass out.
Busy night
Preoccupied night
They never can get this damn tree to light
The children are sated on carbs and sucrose
And lie in their comas in silent repose
Now I can finally thi-i-nk...
Now it is my time to drink.
Sloshed as a sow
I'm a flatulent cow
Trying to climb into my Santa suit
Wondering when I threw up in the boot
Hoping the children don't see-eee...
That smelly old Santa is me.
Qui-i-et night
Not a reindeer in sight
But you can't tell by me cause I'm high as a kite
I'm hoping by morning that I don't smell like weed
But the kiddies won't notice through their primal greed
It's all just an ego-trip to the-em...
It's all just an ego-trip to them.
Presents galore
I bought out the store
They can all go to hell if they want any more
I'm done for ano-o-ther ye-ear!
Now where did I put down my beer?

Pliny-the-in-Between said...

Syllables not On
Haiku is plural I think
Or maybe not so

;)

GearHedEd said...

Song of the Day:

The Roman Moroni Remix