10.28.2011

McRecipe



NOTE: Any similarity of this sandwich to real or imagined products is purely coincidental and should not be interpreted as reflective on any real vile and disgusting products by any vendor.

35 comments:

Saint Brian the Godless said...

McRib Ingredients
McRib Patty: Boneless pork (Pork, water, salt, dextrose, citric acid, BHA, TBHQ).
McRib Bun: Flour (wheat flour bleached and enriched with thiamine, riboflavin, niacin, iron, folic acid, malted barley flour), water, high fructose corn syrup, yeast, vegetable oil (partially hydrogenated soybean oil, cottonseed oil). Contains 2 percent or less of dextrose, fumaric acid, calcium sulphate, salt, acetic acid, soy flour, monocalcium phosphate, ammonium sulphate, cornstarch, fungal protease, natural culture, ammonium chloride, ascorbic acid, azodicarbomide, mono- and diglycerides, propionic acid, phosphoric acid, corn flour, calcium peroxide, calcium propionate, dicetyl tartaric acid esters of mono- and diglycerides, ethoxylated mono- and diglycerides.
McRib Sauce: Water, high fructose corn syrup, tomato paste, distilled vinegar, molasses, natural smoke flavor, modified food starch, salt, sugar, soybean oil, spices, onion*, mustard flour, garlic *, xanthan gum, caramel color, sodium benzoate (preservative), natural flavor (vegetable source), corn oil. *Dehydrated
Pickle Slices
Cucumbers, water, vinegar, salt, calcium chloride, alum, natural flavorings (vegetable source), polysorbate 80, turmeric (color).
Slivered Onions

Allergens: Wheat, Soybean Food Sensitivities: Gluten
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GAAAAAAH!

One thing though Sir Pliny... I'm afraid you have to change your graphic there to reflect porcine rather than bovine accents.

A boneless patty pressed in the appearance of rib bones.

We suck as a culture.

Saint Brian the Godless said...

I got the ingredients off this site:

http://foodfacts.info/mcrib/

If you really wanna hurl, look at their pictures of the patty without sauce, filleted so as to show the inside.

Looks like a mixture of tapioca and pus.

Pliny-the-in-Between said...

DoH! Based upon the actual item, I think I can be forgiven for not getting the source meat right ;)

Saint Brian the Godless said...

How is it LEGAL to feed this SLOP to people?

What's next? Animal Crackers made from roadkill?

We need Charlton Heston screaming from the back of a truck here.

Saint Brian the Godless said...

DoH! Based upon the actual item, I think I can be forgiven for not getting the source meat right ;)
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That's true... it's only trace amounts, after all.

Pliny-the-in-Between said...

I made a slight correction to the picture because of your insight- you'll have to magnify it to see...

Saint Brian the Godless said...

I'm wondering if 'natural smoke flavor' is obtained from scraping the chimneys of sewage treatment plants.
Hey, anything for a buck.

Pliny-the-in-Between said...

No Soylent Green actually had some animal protein in it.

I have a simple rule about food: Unless it's jello or candy, I don't eat food that comes out of a mold. I will on occasion eat moldy food but not molded!

Saint Brian the Godless said...

COWS WITH PIGGY SNOUTS! BRILLIANT!

I like the elastics holding them on.

Pliny-the-in-Between said...

No, the smoky flavor comes from recirculated diesel exhaust from the trucks that haul this stuff from its Chernobyl refinery complex.

Pliny-the-in-Between said...

I suppose we should be careful - we might get McSued

Saint Brian the Godless said...

I'm wondering if any of the 'boneless pork' is rib meat.

Doubtful. That's expensive stuff...

I'm thinking that the main ingredient in the 'boneless pork' is more likely the parts that you added on to your cows. Finely ground, of course.

Pliny-the-in-Between said...

Looks like a mixture of tapioca and pus.
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Unfortunately, it looks a lot like the inside of a person's aorta who eats this stuff.

Pliny-the-in-Between said...

When you see what constitutes meat in one of these agribusiness processing plants, the term 'pork product' gives me shivers.

Pliny-the-in-Between said...

I wonder if the USDA considers pork product as anything that is contaminated with pork DNA?

Saint Brian the Godless said...

Whet Moser of the Chicago Tribune takes a deeper delve into the availablity, process and inconsistent availability of the sandwich in an excellent article, citing Roger Mandigo, one of two inventors credited with the meat-forming process used to craft the McRib patty.

"Restructured meat products are commonly manufactured by using lower-valued meat trimmings reduced in size by comminution (flaking, chunking, grinding, chopping or slicing). The comminuted meat mixture is mixed with salt and water to extract salt-soluble proteins. These extracted proteins are critical to produce a 'glue' which binds muscle pieces together. These muscle pieces may then be reformed to produce a 'meat log' of specific form or shape." Mandigo told the authors of a University of Nebraska report on restructured meat products.

http://eatocracy.cnn.com/2011/10/25/taking-a-ribbing-testing-out-mcdonalds-cult-sandwich/
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GAAAAAAAH all over again!

This is turning out to be a much scarier Halloween post than I thought it would be.

Saint Brian the Godless said...

A 'meat log.'

Perfect.

Saint Brian the Godless said...

I think we've solved the mystery of whatever happened to Jimmy Hoffa.

Saint Brian the Godless said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Pliny-the-in-Between said...

A meat log is a way to make more money from baloney - both the deli and metaphorical kinds.

It is scary.

Saint Brian the Godless said...

I wonder if the USDA considers pork product as anything that is contaminated with pork DNA?
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If that were true then Haley Barbour would qualify.

Pliny-the-in-Between said...

Oh, I get it now. a meat log is summer sausage without the casing.

Saint Brian the Godless said...

I am aghast to admit that I have eaten a McRib at least once, long ago...
I wonder how much of it is still in me?

Makes me more than a bit sick to think that I've eaten one now that I know what one is.

Saint Brian the Godless said...

Calling it a 'meat log' is more than a bit pornographic.

Like a nickname for John Holmes. Other than 'corpse' of course.

Pliny-the-in-Between said...

B - I suppose I can understand your trying the salvia - BUT A MCRIB!

Pliny-the-in-Between said...

I think meat log sounds more like a great insult. Kind of like meat puppet only worse. At least a puppet is articulated.

Saint Brian the Godless said...

B - I suppose I can understand your trying the salvia - BUT A MCRIB!
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I know! I feel like an Andes Survivor now. How do I live with that memory?

Saint Brian the Godless said...

Back in the '70s George Carlin used to talk about how the FDA has allowable levels (in hotdogs) of 'rodent hairs, roach droppings, and bug parts.'

I bet they've been relaxed since, too.

Bug *parts.* I guess that's like the old joke about 'what's worse than finding a worm in your apple?'

pboyfloyd said...

I like the old boots. xD

Saint Brian the Godless said...

Don't forget, when I tried salvia I thought (and so did my wife) that at most I'd get a very slight buzz... I mean, how hard is it to believe that such a powerful mind-altering substance is unregulated? We laughed at it, but then it had the last laugh on us.
I hope it always is unregulated. But I can see that it is more potentially harmful to the psyche than MJ is. It needs a disclaimer.

On the whole though, I'd also say that the McRib is far more harmful on the whole than both salvia and MJ combined.

Meat-logs should be a controlled substance!

Pliny-the-in-Between said...

I know! I feel like an Andes Survivor now. How do I live with that memory?
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No way! Those guys were at least starving in the Andes

AND they knew what they were eating.

mac said...

This shit does not break down. Chances are, it's still in it's (un)original rib-molded shape, St Brian :-(

Saint Brian the Godless said...

Okay, that's disgusting.

I have a theory that every time McDonalds discontinues the McRib they just warehouse the left over patties against the next time they run the special.

Saint Brian the Godless said...

AND they knew what they were eating.
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Which brings up the Miss Manners question that's been troubling me...

Is eating actual people's fingers considered 'finger food?'

I would hate to be gauche.

Saint Brian the Godless said...

More disgustipation....

http://www.theatlantic.com/life/archive/2011/11/mcfib-the-awful-conditions-at-mcdonalds-mcrib-pork-supplier/247779/?google_editors_picks=true