3.04.2009

Saints and Saviors' Love of Baked Goods.

My brain was full today. The last few weeks have been hectic and I needed a break for a few minutes. So I got to thinking about one of the truly great cosmic mysteries; what is it about baked goods that draws in the spirits of the Christian dead. Perhaps it has something to do with the Eucharist but I can't help but notice that Jesus seems to like toast and cinnamon rolls and not so much the paper thin tasteless little crackers. Perhaps he's sending a message - services would be a whole lot more crowed if donuts were sanctified rather than those afore mentioned tasteless little crackers.
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The first image is an example of Jesus in toast. I'm not sure. It looks a little like Leonardo to me but I am a classicist after all.












The next one is Jesus on a fish stick - which I guess is far more egalitarian than Venus on a half shell.



The original picture included the proud owner but as he had not been availed of the miracle of modern dentistry I decided to crop him out. These are food items after all. I think this looks more like Bill Pullman.


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This is alleged to be the pancake Jesus. To be honest, this one looks more like a reduction woodcut of Vlad the Impaler to me, or a bad case of psoriasis, but I'm an agmystic so what do I know from Jesus.







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Here a cheeto gets the divine treatment. Certainly the ultimate in cheesy iconography.
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This of course is the famous Mother Teresa cinnamon roll. I would have thought that, based upon her life's work, she might have eschewed such a high calorie delight, but apparently not. Looks to me more like how she'd look in a Wallace and Gromit feature.










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Jesus may like to haunt toast but Mary seems to have a thing for rust. This image suggests that she got some of her inspiration from Georgia O'Keeffe. She lurks on the side of many a dilapidated old structure, though as the next image reveals, she too, will on occasion pop out of the toaster. (Though this looks more like the other Madonna to me.)




Mary does seem to go for variety more so than the rest. She can be found in the darnedest places. Here she hitches a ride on a turtles belly. She must have some issues to deal with because, well, it's a turtles belly.














There are, of course, many others. What a great idea for a coffee table book! Oh well, coffee break is over - everyone back on their hands...

17 comments:

Saint Brian the Godless said...

I once saw Aleister Crowley's image on a communion wafer just before I ate it. Or maybe it was Klaus Kinski.

These people are pitiful. It's a miracle! (Or very often, "Es un milagro!) Very sad.

Education. The world needs so much more if it.

Too bad ignorance feels so right somehow, to the uneducated.

Saint Brian the Godless said...

Hey, I love that other, new pic in your gallery to the right. Cheney as Cthulhu.

I guess that makes him a Cthulhic. As in the Cthulic Church. (The original spelling)

Asylum Seeker said...

The second to last one looks like Marilyn Monroe to me...

Oh, and when I originally saw the title of the post, I thought it was going to be about "manna from Heaven", communion wafers, multiplied loaves of breads, etc. Maybe there is something special about the baked goods after all.

Pliny-the-in-Between said...

I sort of thought the second to last one looked like the other Madonna...

Saint Brian the Godless said...

Relilgious icons, and tasty too.

And it all came from the original cheezus sandwich on Ebay.

Didn't some on-line casino buy up a lot of these things?

What a scam. Everyone gets their cut. Religion is such a business at every level.

Stacy said...

I think the first one looks like Pliny! Actually ... A LOT like Pliny!

A dirty joke just ran through my head but I will keep it to myself because I am a lady.

GearHedEd said...

Brian said,

"Too bad ignorance feels so right somehow, to the uneducated."

Of course. To KNOW that there is more out there than what the church leaders tell you is to admit to being STOOPID.

DUH!

GearHedEd said...

Do pictures of Elvis in toast qualify too? Or does that make Elvis holy and deserving of sainthood?

Pliny-the-in-Between said...

Elvis is more sublime than divine, I think...

Stacy - there has been more than one time in my life when I thought I was toast, but I guess that's different ;)

Asylum Seeker said...

Yes, I assume that it does look like modern Madonna as well.

" Religion is such a business at every level."

Religion has officially been a business ever since the first Pope who received indulgences. Sure, they may have been mooching for cash and decking themselves in pure platinum beforehand, but it wasn't until the first time that they said "you will burn in Hell unless you send me money!" that it officially went into worldwide scam territory. And every other religion that has formed since has been scam-oriented as a result.

"Do pictures of Elvis in toast qualify too?"

If only. I would love to the see religious following that he managed to have (aside from the few people who insist that "ELVIS LIVES!!!").

Pliny-the-in-Between said...

That is an interesting question that has been raised - I believe that beatification requires that one be sighted postmortem (animated of course - being dug up wouldn't count). Do the Elvis sightings qualify? Are they being investigated?

pboyfloyd said...

"..being dug up wouldn't count.."

Why not? Raised from the grave is raised from the grave, isn't it?

Pliny-the-in-Between said...

Raised or razed?

mac said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mac said...

....I when I do that !

I have a cheesy card that creates an optical illusion.

A christian friend gave me the card a few years ago. I thought it was silly, but he thought it very profound.

You stare at the middle of this business card sized thing for 45 seconds, then close your eyes... magically a bearded face appears in a dull yellow silhouette.

I showed my 14 year-old son this card a few weeks back. He said " Cool Dad, it's SANTA !

Stacy said...

Just for you , Pliny.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvjGIkl2yDY

Pliny-the-in-Between said...

We've gone from running from potential predator patterns in the tall grass to seeing Jesus everywhere.