3.30.2009

The Seventh Seal Has been Broken :(

The Seventh Seal of the Apocalypse has been broken. I'm moving to Idaho. On second thought, I'm trying to dodge eternal damnation so maybe I should reconsider.

What has me so rattled? As predicted in the Book of Revelations: 'Yeah (or really, BOO!) unto yea will come a rumor of war in Babylon upon a cultural icon which cannot and must not be duplicated." And it has come to pass. It has been announced that a Three Stooges Movie starring Sean Penn is in the works...

Goodbye World!

12 comments:

Stacy said...

I totally agree!! A neighbor of mine told me about this last night. Here's how the conversation went ...

Hey, Did you know there's a 3 stooges movie coming out??

No

Guess who's in it!!

Umm, I don't know -- Will Farrel??

No - Guess again

Andy Samberg? Robin Williams??

No. Sean Penn and Jim Carey.

Jim Carey I can almost understand - but SEAN PENN??!! What gives??

Pliny-the-in-Between said...

What gives?

-----------------
It was foretold...


An airstrike should be automatically called in on any meeting where some Hollywood exec. utters the phrase 'high concept'.

Pliny-the-in-Between said...

I guess you are right though - it could have been worse - Will Farrel COULD have been in it.

The only thing I ever enjoyed him in was that little elf game you could download and pelt him with snowballs. I enjoyed that - though I enjoyed its mutated version better - hitting W with a shoe...

GearHedEd said...

R.I.P., Boys...

mac said...

Some things should never be attempted:

Peeing into the wind.
Argueing with my Mother.
Fighting Fedor Emilianko.
Swimming in a volcano.
Letting your wife know where you were that one Saturday (shhhhh).

And NEVER attempt to fuck with the Stooges! Who would even think Sean Penn could pull this off. Even at his comedic best(Fast Times at RidgeMont High) he never came close.

Think he can? Try watching "We're No Angels" some time. Even Dinero couldn't salvage Penn's lame attempts at comedy.

Michael Lockridge said...

First the Pink Panther, and now this!

Unfortunately, the mantra "We already own the property" places our culture always in danger of remakes.

So, just for fun, who SHOULD be selected for the Stooges if this blasphemy cannot be halted?

I draw a blank here, but for some reason I would like to see a gender bender with busty females. Should the qualities of the original artists be missed there would always be boobies.

Mike

Stacy said...

Here you go Mike ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ssB33YfXAA4

I'm not sure about Lucy Liu though - maybe Jenna Elfman instead.

Pliny-the-in-Between said...

HMMMM an all female stooges... Ignoring the fact that most women hate the stooges (possibly the single greatest gender disparity in humankind), it is an interesting premise. Pliny will cogitate on this one and you should expect my proposed movie poster to be published soon on this blog.

Stacy said...

I forgot Roseanne Barr.

Asylum Seeker said...

Ideal Stooges: Christopher Walken, Dana Carvey, and zombie Chris Farley. A film for the ages, to be sure
Can't imagine a female stooge cast, unfortunately. I am not familiar with enough female comedians to make any significant decision, so I just have to agree with Pliny's choices in the image at the top of the blog.
Jim Carey and Sean Penn though...odd. Carey is good in over-the-top comedic roles, whereas Penn is better in slightly-comedic dramatic roles...not sure what possessed the makers of this film to choose those particular people. Perhaps lack of proficiency in necromancy...

GearHedEd said...

Maybe they're thinking of having Sean Penn do Larry. Is Sean Penn Jewish? Not that it matters, but all the original Stooges were Jewish: Moe, Curly and Shemp were all brothers, last name given as "Howard" in the credits, but was really "Horwitz", and Larry's real last name was Feinberg.

Pliny-the-in-Between said...

Christopher Walken

---------------

I have this endless feedback loop of Walken saying Nuk Nuk stuck in my head now...